Day -9: The second crisis

This morning the mini-skip was delivered about 9:30. Over the next couple of hours I moved the heavy stuff downstairs and into the skip. The washing machine was the first – and worst. Getting it downstairs was a minor triumph, but once it was beside the skip I had to get it up and over the sides. I had to demolish a cupboard in order to get some sturdy wooden boards to use as a ramp. Once the ramp was in place it was just a matter of tip, heave and push until the thing fell into the skip with a very satisfying bang. The concrete block in the bottom came loose and probably broke a few things – nobody will be using that washer again!

My downstairs neighbour poked her head out of her window while I was constructing the ramp. She was interested in the washer, but lost interest when I explained that it leaked. However, she took the clothes dryer, so at least that went to a good home. Just as well, as it turned out – the 2x2 metres skip barely holds everything as it is.

I decided to put the fridge in next, even though it would be handy to have it until the end. If I waited some neighbour was bound to sneak some of their own rubbish into the hole. The fridge also went up the ramp, after which I broke the boards and put them in.

My TV I placed gently beside the skip. The TV stand came apart in my hands while I was bringing it down the stairs – I would have broken it up to put it in the skip anyway, so ultimately this didn't matter. As it disintegrated it slid away from me and spread its pieces down the steps. Another neighbour poked her head out to investigate the shattering noise, and probably to find out why I was standing there giggling, with a piece of board in my hands and a welter of shattered wood at my feet.

My old desktop computers were next. When I brought the monitor down I thought of putting it beside the TV – but the TV was already gone! Another item gone to a good home, I hope. Finders keepers – my returns policy is, no returns! The monitor went into the skip.

In the end, the skip filled up just as I ran out of things to put in it. To discourage freeloaders from chucking in bulky, dangerous stuff and overloading the bin, I tied a slab of heavy cardboard over the top. A symbolic lock. Probably won't work.

I had a cheap standard fan. I put that where the TV had been. Somebody took the fan but left the stand. Why not take the lot? The fan is almost useless without its stand. I have placed the stand on top of the skip, in the hope that they will come back and claim it. If they don't, I'll break it apart and bin it.

Went back upstairs and vacuumed the flat from end to end. Just as I was finishing vacuuming, the carpet cleaner arrived – perfect timing.

All this unusually strenuous activity was punctuated by minor bouts of angina. Nothing to worry about – my arteries are about 35% clogged but my heart is in good nick. I'm unfit after a year sitting on my duff all day. I come good after lying down for a few minutes to let my body oxygenate. I have always been strong, and I still have that strength – what I lack is the heavy duty stamina I took for granted in my youth. I can still do heavy stuff in bursts, but then I have to stop and wait till the warning pain in my arms goes away. Fortunately low-grade exertion like walking carrying a pack is below the threshold. Part of the reason for this trip is to get fit again. Maybe this time I'll stay fit when I get home again.

So here I sit, resting up in the aftermath. I have evacuated the master bedroom so I can clean it, and have set up my diminished belongings in the second bedroom for my last two night here. The flat is nearly empty. I have several boxes of assorted stuff that will get chucked in the back of a taxi on Wednesday and taken to storage. All that's left to do now is to mop the kitchen and bathroom floors, clean the kitchen (tomorrow) and try to get the venetian blinds semi-presentable.

On Wednesday, ready or not, the ship sails.

Edited three hours later to add ... the sound of rummaging drifted up to my window. A random loser was having a poke under the cardboard. "Mate, does this fridge still work?"

Should've told the skip hire company to pick it up on Tuesday. At this rate the contents will be all over the driveway by Wednesday.

Edited five hours later to add ... it's been a cold, rainy day. Top of only 18 degrees. I was lying on my bed feeling a bit cold so I dredged myself up and did some cleaning. All I can say is, either I'm the first person to clean that stove since it was installed, or else the last tenants were complete slobs! (Being a single straight male living alone, the stove has had only the mildest of workouts under my tenancy.)

Never mind. I'm nice and warm now.